Beneath the Surface
by Anis Quest
Summary: A name that is a curse, a persona that is not real, a freedom that is only a pretense for the sake of sanity... OOCness, HPLV slash
1. Chapter 1 Intro

I suck at intros so I'll just say: 'Enjoy, and I hope you will' :)

It's not beta'ed or proof-read, so please excuse the mistakes (I'll look into it later, atm I just want to share :D )

__So, here goes...

* * *

_November 15th, 1997_

_Journal Entry:_

_It's confirmed. The curse of Harry Potter exists... either that or the Fate really hates me... Why anything good that happens to me is always followed by some catastrophe? I've heard many times that life's simply not fair, but surely it doesn't have to be this unfair?_

_The school year started normally (as normally as a NEWT student with a murdering maniac breathing at his neck can find it). My two best friends got together, which basically means they shut me out, but I don't mind that much... For one, I wish them all the happiness they could get in this time of a war. For two, since our fourth year, when I had had that spectacular falling out with Ron, I could feel our relationship suffer, we grew apart... well, those two grew so close it's disgusting sometimes..._

_Anyway, I'm back to school – the Heaven – nobody tried to kill me yet, McGonagall sends her pitying looks, Snape sneers left and right, old man twinkles all around... Cheesy, magical, Hufflepuff-ish, normal... Perfect._

_As Ron and Hermione grew close, so did I and Ginny. I always liked her, and as it turned out, she's had a crush on me since the first time she saw me... Merlin, she was only ten back then... I'm pretty sure that it's not normal. Since we shared the interest, we simply decided to go out – nothing special, no spectacular proclamations of love, no cheesy stuff... we just decided and made it so._

_And yes, we were happy. But something seemed wrong and I found myself thinking of anything that could fit... and found it. I found why I hated when Cho cried, and found what I didn't like in Ginny. And I was forced to break up with her – she cried a little, then smiled and offered friendship. Strange? I think so too... But I couldn't let our relationship go on, for I really like her, and I couldn't see her suffer were she to fall in love (yes, I knew she wasn't in love with me, nor am I)._

_Only few minutes after we broke up I was faced by furious Ronald Weasley – no, I suppose we're not friends anymore. Curious how he remembered my existence, whenever he was angry... He spat insults about low-lifes and bastards right into my face and demanded (no, he didn't ask normally) to know why... how was it? Oh... "My sister is perfect, she's smart and Gorgeous (I honestly could hear it capitalized). So what did the great almighty Harry Potter find that unacceptable? Was she not fawning around you enough?"_

_I told him. And he was furious... not to mention disgusted (judging by his complexion, it going seriously green). I didn't expect him to understand. It took me a month of serious contemplation to realize that, and another month to acknowledge it. Though I surely didn't expect him to babble it out to all my roommates, nor did I expect them to beat me up the second I returned to the dorms (in privacy of our room, mind you... I guess he was too scared to leak that out to the whole school... I still wonder why I haven't found an article in Daily Prophet about it...)_

_And what was that little secret? The thing that ruined my relationship with Ginny, the thing that made me untouched by tears of a girl I was supposed to be in love with (Cho)?_

_The thing that made my every dream about family disappear?_

_I'm gay. Simple as that._

_I told Ginny while I apologized. And she said she knew. How? Go ask her, she didn't tell me, only smiled mysteriously... Then she said that she only wanted to try the feel of being in relationship. Curious as it may seem, we really stayed friends... we still are... there are simply too little of people whom I'd consider a friend nowadays..._

_Ginny and Luna, one chasing after the Snitch, other chasing after Nargles... neither minding my orientation... I feel the need to mention, that both realized my preferences even before me... Then there's Neville, who doesn't care about such things, but still... he'll never take my side, as he'd be outnumbered quickly, which I imagine wouldn't end well for him... And I cannot begrudge him... and still consider him a friend... And then there's... No... There are no others..._

_With Siri's death, Remus went all Moony – literally, as his inner wolf took charge – and I found myself at the receiving end of the werewolf's hatred, for killing a member of a pack... He doesn't call me 'cub' anymore... he doesn't call me anything... He tries to ignore my existence, I know, but when we are in the same room, I can feel his thirst for blood... my blood... and it hurts._

_Then there's Hermione, who doesn't care about anything that concerns me and simply sides with her boyfriend – Ron._

_And my roommates... Dean and Seamus... well, they seem to completely agree with Ron..._

_So yes, I HAD HAD my sweet little piece of happiness at the beginning..._

_...only to have it turned into a nightmare... honestly, I have enough nightmares as it is... The newest addition being Tom torturing Lucius for failing to bring him Dumbledore's head (from my other 'visions' I recall he got this mission during the summer, as both he and the old codger were pureblood Lords and thus both attended the Lord Summit)... Now... The Lord Summit I could remember too, curiously enough this time I got this dream from the codger's perspective. I once was told, that I could 'see into Voldemort's head' because there's a link between us... which is all nice and well... but it doesn't explain why I have those 'visions' even from others... So far I've encountered perspectives of Tom, Dumbledore, Draco Malfoy and even Xenophilius Lovegood, which was an experience of its own... All of them are people I've already met, and that are connected to me in one way or another..._

_I wonder if I have some Seer's blood in me..._

_On a brighter note, witnessing the Lovegood World was something else really... and yes, I've seen Nargles... they DO exist..._

_Cute little beasts..._

_I feel I'm rambling too much; I'm tired, so I guess it's time to finish that entry..._


	2. Chapter 2

Adding two chapters at the same time... well, it's a miracle :D I hope I'll be able to update somehow regularly, but I wouldn't count on it (too tired to write most of the time, but I'll try).

~aq

Enjoy chapter #2:

* * *

He was sitting on the shore of a Black Lake; for it was the only place he could find any peace and quiet. The reason was simple, it was cold outside, so no students were anywhere near. Well, they wouldn't be in school soon too. The Christmas Holiday was starting shortly, namely tomorrow and so the Hogwarts' population would be leaving the castle this evening.

He shivered even with several layers of clothes on. It was winter, it was quite obvious it's not the best time to sit in the snow for hours, but he really didn't want to spend his time in dorms, as everyone would be there packing at the moment.

He stood up with a sigh; perhaps a little walk would warm him a bit... And then his world went black.

* * *

He took another Pain Reliever, but it still didn't stop the shaking. Pathetic. It was few days already, but he still could feel after-effects of the many rounds of Cruciatus Curse. Why did his Lord demand Dumbledore, though? Surely he could get rid of him easily enough... No matter, it was his task...

He decided to venture to Hogwarts to meet up with his son, perhaps he could manage to get Dumbledore's intended whereabouts during the break. With that he put on a heavy cloak a apparated to the gates of the school.

Striding slowly, not that he could appreciate beauty of the snow-covered site, he made his way through the premises, only to stop abruptly. He could've laughed at his luck, but he quickly calmed down. To get his prey, he'll need the element of surprise... He crept quietly, his footsteps silenced with a simple spell. Drawing his wand he quickly aimed, and shot a non-verbal _Stupefy_ at his target.

Now the Dark Lord shouldn't have any complaints, right? He was to get Dumbledore, but he would be forgiven if he brought Harry Potter instead. Though... Maybe he'll have some fun first... Lately there were only few muggles to torture, and honestly... without magic they couldn't endure much... now a wizard as powerful as Harry Potter... yes, he decided, he'll have a fun at Christmas.

He quickly apparated straight to the dungeons of Malfoy Manor, keeping a strong hold of an unconscious body.

Draco wouldn't arrive until eight o'clock, which gave him over six hours to enjoy his newest company. Should he start with magic, or with muggle means of torture...

"Let's wake him first," he mumbled, pointed his wand at Harry and shot out the red light of Cruciatus.

The boy woke up with a scream.

"If you are wondering where you are, let me welcome you to the dungeons of Malfoy Manor," Lucius intoned.

"Mal-AAAARGH!" he screamed again as Lucius finally decided to go with magical means first.

* * *

"Now of all times... Of course he would call when I finally get into trance, from all that blood and screams... I must've done something terrible in my past life to not deserve even one undisturbed evening with my prey..." he grumbled to himself while striding quickly to the hall, where the Dark Lord usually held his meetings.

He entered through a heavy wooden door, to notice that the room was empty... apart from the Dark Lord sitting in his throne, that is...

"My Lord," he intoned respectfully, or at least he thought he schooled his voice perfectly, as he kneeled before the dark wizard and lowered himself to kiss the hem of the wizard's robes...

"Lucius," the man hissed in acknowledgement. "From the fact that you've yet to report the death of my enemy I assume your mission still is unfulfilled."

"Yes, M'Lord," Lucius said warily. He'd been punished for his failure only few days ago. Curiously enough, the Dark Lord didn't seem that disappointed now... What happened?

"Good. I need him alive. It's been brought to my attention that he may possess the key to our secrets, perhaps a spy in our ranks... From now on, you're excused from all our meetings and all your other tasks - they will be delegated to others. Your first and foremost goal is to bring the old man to me, I expect him in my dungeons by the end of January at the latest..."

"Yes, M'Lord," he nodded, knowing better than not to. He may be a sadistic bastard, but he'd rather inflict the pain than to be at the receiving end of the Dark Lord's anger. Judging by his words, it was most important to get Dumbledore, and the failure wouldn't be tolerated. And it wouldn't end by only multiple _Crucios_.

He withdrew from hi Lord's presence to venture back to his own home. He had only little over a month to get the Headmaster, he needed a plan, and a good one at that... Perhaps a little bout of torture would clear his mind...

He stopped when he saw his wife walking down the stairs.

"Lucius," she said. "I didn't expect you home this early..."

"What? Did I interrupt some little get-together with your lover?"

"What are you talking about? I don't have any lovers!"

"Don't use that tone with me, you little bitch," he quickly closed in on her, grabbing her by her chin roughly. "I know exactly what you do behind my back."

"I don't understand..."

"Oh, I'm sure you do. Do not embarrass me, or you'll come to regret that dearly."

"Lucius! You're being cruel! That's not how it is!"

"Do you think me stupid?" he growled dangerously.

"What are you talking about? There are no others-" she didn't finish, for he backhanded her.

"L-Lucius?" she whispered fearfully from the ground, where she fell by the force of the strike, holding her palm over the abused cheek.

"Get lost. I don't want to see you tonight. Do not try my patience."

She picked herself up quickly, her eyes wide with fear begun to tear up. Then she fleed the room.

With a sigh he continued to the dungeons. Honestly, did that stupid bitch think he didn't know? She hasn't come to his bed for many years now, yes he had many lovers, but that didn't excuse his wife from attending her husband's needs.

But back to forming a plan. From what he heard at Hogwarts that day the damn man wouldn't leave the castle until April, unless there was some emergency. Last week they raided a safe-house belonging to his beloved Order, killing all of its inhabitants... and still, Dumbledore hasn't considered _that_ an emergency. To put it simply, there was no way to lure him outside... Which left him with only one option, he'd need to sneak in. The most perfect way would be as a student - his son. The only problem being the Polyjuice Potion lasted only an hour... He'd need to use it regularly... Well, to be perfectly honest, there was another problem... His son, being a Slytherin he was, wouldn't be trusted enough, to get Dumbledore off guard. If only he could use a...

He laughed. Yes, today was his lucky day, no matter how you looked at it. He of course HAD a perfect way to sneak up on the Headmaster. He'll just have to come up with a solution to his Polyjuice-problem. It would be impossible to maintain his appearance, as somebody would notice, not to mention that brewing the damn potion would take a month!

* * *

"Drink this, Potter!" he snapped, as the damn brat continued to keep his lips pressed tightly together, refusing the potion.

"_Imperio_!"

Finally, he fed the brat blood replenishers, pain relievers and healing potions. No way he'd be inhabiting that body only to find pain waiting there for him. Then he fed the lion a very mild sleeping draught, while he himself ingested a very powerful and long-lasting one.


	3. Chapter 3

Lucius opened his eyes, his body numb from all the potions he ingested... well, he made Potter ingest... Knowing the pain relievers worked well, he decided to get up, before 'his' absence is noticed at Hogwarts. He shot a wary eyes at the other figure in the room, only to relax. His own body lay there, slumbering deeply... Exactly following his plan.

The spell was easy... at least for the owner of a Library as great as his was, almost full of Dark Arts. A simple soul exchange... With his body, well, the body of Harry Potter being under his direct control, he could get practically anywhere in Hogwarts without being questioned or being suspicious... He could get an appointment with Dumbledore, when he'd have an opportunity to incapacitate him; then flooing back to Malfoy Manor, and: the mission complete... Who'd think it would be this easy...

He pulled Potter's wand from inside pocket in his robes and bound his body - with Potter currently residing in it - to the walls, silencing it in the process. It would not do to have his body roam freely, much worse: with Potter in charge of it.

* * *

_There's no pain. Weird..._

Looking around he recognized the place, and shivered in memory of hours of torture under Malfoy Sr.'s wand. Then he remembered Malfoy feeding him some potions, which made his pain go away and finally the sleeping draught... Just what the hell was going on?

He tried to move, only to find he was bound. He mustered all his inner magic and pressed against his bindings, which quickly fell down to the ground. Now the only thing remaining was to get out of here unnoticed, the rest of the way back to Hogwarts was pretty easy. Not that he wanted to return to Hogwarts, but where else to go? Privet Drive would be last place he'd even consider; Burrow was out of question, as most of Weasleys shunned him even before he was outed to Ron; and Grimmauld Place was under Dumbledore's supervision, even if he went there the damn Headmaster would force him back to the school before an hour would have passed.

He found his way from the dungeons pretty quickly, considering that he's never been there before, as during his previous travel through the dungeons he was unconscious. He stepped into a grand foyer and stood there frozen in awe for a while, until he gathered his wits back around him.

"L-Lucius?" he heard a faint voice with an unmistakable fear ringing in it.

He spun around to face Narcissa Malfoy. She was scared - wonder what could've scared her so much - which was probably the only reason she wasn't cursing him to the afterlife right now.

"Please forgive me, I'll do anything," she whimpered as she neared to him, her eyes literally pleading him not to hurt her. Just what happened to that woman? And why would he have to forgive her? She's done nothing to him, apart from not killing him on sight... He must have spaced off, because now that he noticed smaller details, he could see her eyes were red and streaks of dried tears marred her cheeks. He didn't know what to do with crying women, so he thought she just sought some comfort - him being the closest person alive (aside from house-elves) made him her target. Oh, well... As long she didn't bring him to Tom, he would comfort her. And he did.

Narcissa froze when he embraced her gently, then slowly relaxed and started crying in relief - judging by the faint chuckles. He only hoped his little help would be enough for her not to call her Lord, or worse: Lucius Malfoy. With Voldemort he could be certain he'd kill him on sight, Lucius Malfoy however would torture him to insanity, that he was sure of.

"Thank Merlin," he heard her whisper into his clothes. "I don't know what happened, or who you are, but thank you for not being _him_."

_Huh? What was she talking about? How could she not know who he was? Though he never met her before in person, he was pretty sure that Daily Prophet covered his 'case' almost daily, photos included._

"Him?" he wondered aloud. There was something simply wrong, but he had no idea what...

"My husband," she whispered.

"Why would I be your husband?" he asked even more perplexed. Was he going crazy?

Narcissa looked at him surprised for a while but then she just smiled gently and conjured a... mirror? He looked at the object and almost fainted as he was welcomed by his reflection... Or should he say 'by reflection of Lucius Malfoy'? It was confirmed: he _is _crazy!

"How?"

"I don't know how, but I don't care. I'm only glad you're not him," she still smiled at him and lead him somewhere else in the mansion. "Draco - my son - will be arriving shortly, and so should Tom, he will be pleased, they both will."

"Tom?"

"Ah, he's Tom only to family and friends. You'd know him as Lord Voldemort."

_Shit!_

* * *

His body went on on auto-pilot, as his mind shut down at that revelation.

He was trembling, he could tell, as he neared a public floo that would take him home - to Malfoy Manor. He was scared and he could do nothing about it. His mission failed, _he _failed. Oh, he didn't worry about his Lord's reaction, that wasn't the problem. The problem was in his father who would consider it disgrace to Malfoy name and thus disgrace to himself. He'd rather slave for Weasleys than to inform his father of a failure...

With a deep breath he prepared himself for all kinds of torture - not that one could ever be prepared for something Lucius Malfoy would do to you - and stepped into the green flames announcing his destination.

He exited in foyer, and quickly an elf appeared to take his luggage. Draco then headed for his father's study, it would get only worse if he delayed or even withheld his information. This way he could get this out of way, recover and maybe spent few days in relative peace.

Despite determination his steps towards his father's office were hesitant at best, his thoughts kept at anything but the conversation and its aftermath. However he didn't get much far as he encountered a scene that had him stand frozen and stare at the sight as it unfolded just before his very eyes. His mum was sitting in the lounge, calmly sipping her tea and having a relaxed conversation with... his Father? Just what in Merlin's name happened? Just as startling as his mum's comfortable disposition, was his Father's somehow relaxed attitude. In fact, were he not so much shocked, he might've noticed Lucius being quite nervous and insecure.

"Father," he inclined his head hesitantly, addressing him as first. "Mother," he looked at her curiously and with no little amount of concern. Has he hexed her?

"Draco," she smiled at him gently, none of her Pureblood masks in place as she would've normally done when in presence of Lucius. "Come sit with us."

And he did, he sat noticeably as far from Lucius as possible without it being considered impolite and looked from one of his parents to the other uncertainly.

"As I'm not sure you've met before, let me do the introductions," his mum said, and he stared at her confused. What? There were only three of them in the room, what introductions? "This, as I'm sure you've already surmised, is my son Draco Malfoy. Draco, this is Hadrian."

"Mother?" What's going on? Has she gone crazy? Or has he?

"We're not sure how it happened, or at least Hadrian didn't go into details, but he seems to have switched bodies with Lucius. We don't know where he went or what his intentions were, for it was his idea, but Lucius disappeared from the Manor. I'm sure you're as glad as I am," she smiled. "Sorry, Hadrian, I know it's more than a simple inconvenience for you, but to us it's a real Christmas gift."

"Please don't worry Mrs. Malfoy. I may not be exactly thrilled to have ended in this body, but you can be sure I'm glad I'm not in mine," he smiled slightly.

"Oh? How come?"

"One has to keep appearances, a thing I'm sure you're familiar with. Not being in my own body means freedom for me, however small it might be due to the body I happen to inhabit now..."

"Keep appearances... Is it that harsh for you?"

"I've grown used to it, I've had to or I'd go crazy or be dead. The problem is I'm not free of it no matter when or where, it's... tiresome... to keep my masks up all the time, to have to act exactly opposite I'd like to, to have to appear to believe in things I don't..."

"Don't you have any confidants or friends?" she asked concernedly, and both she and Draco frowned, when it elicited a small bitter laugh from him.

"I'd thought I had... But not too long ago I've shared a little piece of me with them... which unfortunately left me with... Ah, doesn't matter anymore anyway... Let's leave it at the fact that the person they see me as cannot even have his own preference, or think differently than them. Luckily there are two or three people who stayed at my side so it wasn't that hard, I guess..."

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to bring up something painful..."

Draco just stared at the stranger in his Father's body and felt himself being increasingly more comfortable in his presence. He wanted to know him better, whether or not he returned to his own body Draco wanted to be his friend.

Just as he was about to ask to know more about him, they heard the fireplace flare in green flames as the Floo network activated.

* * *

This all was so very strange. Holding a pleasant conversation with Lady Malfoy, who without her masks was a very nice woman. Even Malfoy... Draco was quite nice when not insulting him. It's been so very long since he felt this relaxed when in someone's presence.

At the sound of the Floo network he abruptly turned, hoping against all hope it wasn't Malfoy Sr. in his body coming back. It would be a disaster, and judging from his companions' behaviour, not only for him.

But the person who exited the fire made his thoughts stop dead. Even if he knew from Narcissa he'd come, he's conveniently forgotten. And now he was here, his prophesied arch enemy, only... he wasn't quite the Voldemort he's thought he knew. The man, yes a man not a monster-looking creature, was... handsome, more than that... _Gorgeous._ He stood there, tall with a strong build, his nicely tanned skin and dark hair were giving him somehow mysterious and Dark feel, which his red eyes complemented greatly. His presence was imposing and powerful, but still felt so nice and warm... well, until the man noticed him. In that moment he found himself at the receiving end of cold and disdainful gaze, and felt his insides curl painfully; he didn't want the man to hate him, he wanted to... _Huh? He wanted what? Be friends with the Dark Lord? No way..._

He stopped his thoughts before they could get the best of him and think too far ahead into some unrealistic fantasy with this gorgeous dark man. He lowered his head to hide the hurt in his eyes. However as Lucius had no fringe as he was used to, he wasn't quite successful in hiding his expression.

* * *

Narcissa noticed the change in the air as Tom glared at her supposed husband, and also was very aware of the hurtful look that Hadrian's eyes subsequently adopted. Oh, she knew the look Hadrian was giving Tom when the man first emerged from the Floo network, and she felt herself smirking. And not for the first time she wondered who Hadrian was.

His manners and behaviour were polite and well-behaved, though she knew he was still quite young. He shared his name with her, Hadrian, though he didn't give his surname and she knew at that moment that he must be recognizable by his full name. Only... she didn't know anyone going by the name Hadrian, though he assured her it is his real name. Later during their conversation as Draco arrived his confession startled and worried her as she was starting to think of him as a friend, and she knew he was quite lonely and depressed and she wanted to help him. Then Tom appeared and she felt his gaze turn from fearful in anticipation to startled... and so very much in love on first sight. She smiled because she knew how to make him feel better. Hopefully Tom would feel the same, as Hadrian no matter who he was in reality was a very nice and likeable person, if a tad bit dark, but that was due to his circumstances. The only thing left for now was to wipe that glaring look from Tom's face, it surely didn't do any good to Hadrian, and in fact wasn't directed at him but at Lucius.

"Tom, I'm glad you're here," she smiled gently and noticed his surprised look. She never let her mask slip when around Lucius.

"Narcissa," he inclined his head unsurely, his eyes questioning her to explain her behaviour.

"May I introduce you to Hadrian," she gestured to the man inhabiting her husband's body. "Hadrian, this is Tom. I know you're aware of his other names as we spoke about it before, but I'm sure he won't mind you calling him Tom."

"Nice to meet you Hadrian," the Dark Lord held out his hand, looking more and more perplexed.

"Very nice indeed," he said quietly, taking his hand.

Narcissa almost laughed when Hadrian blushed, then suddenly she couldn't hold the mirth in any longer.

"I'm sorry," she excused herself, still chuckling trying to control it. "It's just the first time I've seen a blush on Lucius' face."

"Care to explain?" Tom asked sitting himself in an armchair.

"Lucius did something, we're not quite sure what, which caused him and Hadrian switch bodies, then he disappeared."

"Ah..." Tom nodded satisfied and curious at once. "While his actions are confusing, it certainly does explain this relaxed atmosphere," he nodded. Then he looked at Hadrian as if he was an interesting puzzle. She smiled, maybe it won't be that hard to make him see Hadrian under the surface of Lucius. More so, she knew he was very observant and clever, and surely he noticed the blush that was still faintly visible on Hadrian.


End file.
